Act Three : Second eldest brother – Ishuma’s Monologue (Part One)

Good news~ Hime-sama has told me that she’s picking up this project! Thank you very much Hime-sama. She is starting from Act 2 so go read that Here.

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My name is Ishuma Ishume Pameradia, the Pameradia House’s third child and second son, as well as a knight belonging to the second guard troops. For a long time, I was the youngest child, but eight years ago, my younger brother and sister were born. Incidentally, among my younger siblings, only my younger sister, Cordelia, and I share the same fate of possessing a middle name, the reason being simply because we both had a brush with death when we contracted a serious illness during our childhoods. It is customary, in this county, to try and ward off the sickness by linking a child’s guardian deity’s name to theirs while they are on the verge of life and death. The child’s guardian deity is determined when he or she is born. Everyone, in the past, seemed to have had their guardian deity’s name included as a middle name included from birth, but due to the mood of the current era being “to lazy to write the name in the documents,” no one has a middle name unless they contracted a terrible disease. So, because of this, the number of people with middle names is not zero.

Having a middle name makes it easy for others to know whether or not someone has experienced a serious illness before, but it is actually a disadvantage for those who have one. Having a middle name makes people immediately associate that person with the image of being sickly, rather than the impression of “a person who overcame the disease.” In particular, this seems to apply more fittingly for children in the aristocracy. Take, for instance, Cordelia and I. The fact that two children out of four brothers and sisters shows that there is quite a high probability of a child born to an aristocrat family dying, but it is not strange if one were to look at the overall situation.

In many cases, children of the nobility possess a large amount of magic, and those with such magic easily contract various sicknesses. This is because the body can not stop the erosion of the disease fully, due to it trying to keep in the magic. However, in many cases, if the child’s body is able to defeat the sickness, they will be capable of using extremely strong magic. … Well, elder brother is tremendously strong, and never contracted the disease, but in his case, he is strong due to his physical ability as well; much stronger than an ordinary person.

I was twelve at the time my sister, Cordelia Ena Pameradia, was born, and to be honest… I pitied her. I had not even imagined that my sister could be conceived, my parent’s relationship being heavily strained, but I could easily figure out the reason behind it. About six months before, the prince of this country was born. If the Pameradia child was born male, he could possibly become the prince’s friend, but if she was a female, then she had the possibility of becoming the prince’s wife. Even with that reasoning, I thought that it would be impossible. As I have said many times, my parents do not have such a good relationship.

I, though only a twelve year old child, could understand that.

I sympathised with my sister, thinking, “It would be good if she was at least a man.” However, her future was already decided when she was born a woman. The goal of aiming at the position of future empress, it would be impossible for me not to be familiar with it. Because she was born a woman, she would be raised on only this word, and would walk a trivial path. This may sound coldly cruel to those not familiar with this way of life.

Well, I also do not think that I ever had a fun life at that time. I did not know the feeling of boredom, but I also did not know the sense of fun.

I was the second son, but clearly the way elder brother and I were treated was different. On the surface, we received the same education, but there was always the atmosphere of always being only a “spare.” I had never felt the same expectation for him associated with me. I also thought that I had no use. My elder brother, as the legitimate first son, had heavier responsibilities than I did. However, I wouldn’t like to be in his position, destined to be in charge of everything. In my view, the position eldest brother is not enviable. Because of my position, I could enjoy a certain degree of freedom – I decided not to worry about it, but there is the case that I thought my elder brother was reproachful. Elder brother is exactly like father, and has a better physique than me, but can not catch up to my magic sense. I resemble mother in that way. Sometime when we were young, I beat elder brother. I was more enthusiastic about it then, but that was simply childish thinking; I learned after, early on, that it was impossible to be able to win against elder brother, who was so alike to father.

Being always compared with elder brother, he was always the “child prodigy,” while subsequently, I was thought of as a supporter. Because they always compared us to father, he was always the “star”, and it simply became the norm for the world to evaluate us that way.

So, when Cordelia, who has the blood of the Pameredia house, was born as a sister, on one hand, I was selfishly pitying her, and on the other, I was saved by her birth as a female because I think if she was a male, my inferiority complex would have solidified. Certainly…… well, I still have an inferiority complex to some degree, even now, but I do not want to be a brother who shows an inferiority complex to someone younger than me. Partly because of pride, but I also decided not to show my true character because showing that side of me would be simply too uncool.

My behavior and speech is the primary concern… for example, this tone is also a part of my front.

Originally, I did not use the manners and language that was usual for children of aristocrats. I did know how to behave in that way, but there was no reason to. But when doing business along the border or going out to collect information, I conducted myself in that manner and found it to be “fun.” After continuously doing it, I soon found it effortless to act the part of a knight. It became habitual to me and was easy. But I never show this side of myself over the dinner table. Showing an honest and overly chivalrous face for a knight would be bad. Speaking at ease and in a familiar manner are not elements, at least in a Pameredia House Knight, that are permissible. I want to live in peace and not provoke father’s anger.

So I usually put on the facade of the “ideal young knight.”

Of course, I only do this in the castle, never at home. Especially when I am in the castle tavern, I leave behind and shed my “Pameredia mask.” Perhaps this was because the tavern was so very different from my usual places. It was not a place for knights, on the contrary, it was a place for gamblers and minstrels. It would be as if almost to say that it was at the level of card games at the tavern for gamblers; a surreal and obscure occupation that interests me greatly. Being there made the lies of my facade easier to bear, to try to be noble and familiar at the same time. I wanted to plunge into the contradiction that was my false personality, but I was helpless because I couldn’t afford break myself of either mask.

And… well, let’s leave it at that. You’ve probably heard enough of this.

 

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